Bring on the Rain

Since Thursday, I feel as if I'm slowly slipping into a hole.  I find myself spacing off, thinking of nothing in particular, but just feeling sad.  Occasionally, I cry without a prompt and I know I'm doing it and can't seem to stop.  Keith has noticed this about me and tries to cheer me up when he can. 

The funny thing is, when I was doing all the treatments, he was so amazingly supportive.  He knew that I was supposed to avoid any and all stress, so he made the decisions that needed to be made without consulting with me.  He catered to me so I could relax and stick within the 10lb weight limit I had been given.  Since the failure, that has stopped.  Don't get me wrong, he's still awesome.  But he seems to have lost the ability to make any decisions on his own.  This morning, he was helping me prepare sweet potatoes for a work luncheon I'm having.  He was supposed to cube them after I peeled them (see, still awesome).  But, he had to ask "what kind of cubes?" I didn't have a way to explain it, so I answered "I don't know, cube like cubes".  He was pretty upset that I didn't give him any more detailed instructions and made sure I knew it.  He sure doesn't mind stressing me out now, even if it is just about sweet potatoes!  We've been snapping at each other, but I think the stress has just gotten to both of us.  Hopefully, we'll get over this little bump quickly, without scars.

I've been trying very hard to stay out of the dark place.  It's pretty hard when everyone is asking me the results, and when told, asking me "what's the next step".  I guess that's the downside to letting everyone in on the process...answering the questions now without breaking down in the process. 

I heard one of my favorite songs today on the radio.  This song always keeps me from completely succumbing to the dark place:

Bring on the Rain by Jo Dee Messina & Tim McGraw (sorry, I don't know how to link the music)

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war

'Cause, tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated and I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing but I'm not dead, no

'Cause, tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain, ooh

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight

'Cause, tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

'Cause, tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain, ooh
Bring on, bring on the rain

No I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
So bring on the rain, ooh